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Is date night overrated or essential?

Today I’m asking fellow sorellas if date night is overrated or essential? Should we really need to schedule in getting and/or staying connected? What happened to that spontaneous element in a relationship called romance? Does date night impede our instinct to be impulsive with our partners?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aspBKFz2dBI&w=560&h=315]

It’s fair to say date night it is a bit of an ‘Americanism’ which has very slowly crept on to our shores. I do like the thought of it and have girlfriends who tell me they have regular date nights with their partners which helps them stay connected.  But my hubbie and I (although we have entertained the idea) don’t participate in date night.

Our reason is probably the exact reason we should have one…we just don’t have the time!

For me, it feels a bit unnatural – or forced:

“Ok darling husband, the night’s here for you to talk to me and be nice to me, even though we both have a million other things we SHOULD be doing…”

Followed by this at the end of dinner (or movie, which can I point out means you probably didn’t actually talk to each other all that much anyway):

“Ok! All done. See you next week!” 

While we don’t have a date night per se, I am conscious of trying to make sure we catch up and reconnect if we have a window to do so. For example, my husband and I had grand plans to fit in a simple coffee together last Sunday while his Mum spent some time with our children.  We were really looking forward to having the opportunity to sit down and have some one on one time together (albeit it just a 20 minute coffee).  However, by the time we ran around and did all the ‘jobs’ we needed to get done without kids in tow, we ran out of time to get to the café! The thing is, we actually didn’t mind that much…we were happy to get so much ticked off our to-do list.

Does quality time not count if you are doing the grocery shopping, cleaning out the garage, or running some errands together?

Beginning a family has certainly taken away the quality couple time out that we once enjoyed regularly.  My husband and I joke that through the week we are ‘high-fiving’ as we pass each other in the hallway!!  Our couple time has been replaced with park visits, bike rides and general family time (which we love).

We want to hear from you. Do you do date night? Does it work for you and your partner?

What are your tips for either date night, or not having date night, but maintaining that quality time with your partner as your little ones (or big ones) scurry around you?

~ alisha


  • I was only saying to my hubby the other day that we hardly ever hold hands anymore because one of us is usually holding a toddler, wrangling a trolley/pram or our son is holding one of each of our hands. We don’t do regular date nights, but we’d love to. In fact we’ve only had 3 nights away (1 full night where our son stayed at my parents place and the other two an afternoon at the movies) from our little man in the almost-2-years since he was born. We’d love to have more time to do things just the two of us but when we do, it feels like we’re not whole, like we’re missing something- as cliche as that sounds and therefore we usually rush back to pick him up.

    • I know exactly what you mean Claire – I remember going out for an hour wandering around the shops while mum had my new baby girl just so I could have a short break – and I just felt like I was missing something…was a feeling like I’d left my handbag somewhere! So I agree and definitely not a cliche at all.

      I find my husband and I talk about the kids when they are not with us too….I must make a rule to try to limit doing that!

      Thanks for sharing and good luck with squeezing a few of those date nights in. If you do, let us know how they go!
      ~ alisha x

  • What a great topic. I think alone time with partner is essential for growth as a couple. To be able to make sure that there is time enough to do that requires planning and a great and in close proximity–babysitter. The folks that seem to have the best opportunity for consistent weekly (I know one couple with 3 kids and both work who have TWO date nights a week–for the past 10 years–whew) are those folks who have trusted family/friends who are very available for watching the kids. Shoulds and have-to’s need to be re-optioned if date nights are to survive and thrive. Thanks for this opportunity to share–Barb

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